Stepfarther Spoof
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: I'm proubley pritty popular for these spoofs of mine by know, enjoy, and please leave reviews
1. Chapter 1

STEPFARTHER SPOOF! CHAPTER ONE

Granny Edwards. A constant on the run serial killer, that is always changing his name. Today he met Susan at the grocery store, he introduced himself as David Harris. He pretended to be divorced, but in reality he murdered his old wife, and her family. "Yep, she was mad at me for my constant tenancy to take shit in the pool" David said. Everyone took a step back. David walked away. Unaware of the danger it will eventually cause Susan asked David to stay with her family. He agreed.

Susan's oldest son, Michael was returning from military school. His family had a surprise party waiting for him, and when he arrived the party had started. Michael met David and he lead the two down towards the basement. He tried befriending him over drinks. "We will bring the family together, farther and son" David said. "STEP farther" Michael said. "Of curse" David said with a grin. "What if mom disagrees?" Michael asked. "Then I'll have to kill her" David whispered to himself. "WHAT!" Michael cried. "WHAT!" David cried. "Did you just say your kill my mother" Michael asked. "No" David said quickly. David started bring him upstairs. "This has been a nice chat" David said quickly. "but David" Michael said, but David closed the door on him.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

**ME: Well, here I am returning with the story.. Any questions?**

**MICHAEL: I have one. Can I do Kelly, at the Pool scene?**

**ME: No! I don't write lemons**

**DAVID: What about me, Can I do Susan, I'll promise to keep my role as the funny one, by cracking humorous one liners while seducing her. **

**ME: You're not doing someone with the same name as my mother, think of how wrong that sounds. **

**DAVID: (_Looks disappointed_).**

**ME: Anyway, here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy.**

For a while things seemed pretty ordinary. Until that day came, where old Mrs. Martin knocked on their door. She was talking to Susan but nobody heard them. She later told David that Mrs. Martin said she saw a killer named Granny Edwards on America's most wanted, and he looked just like David. They both laughed, well David pretended to laugh, he was nervous. "This will make me a big hit with the neighbors" David joked.

LATER!

Getting worried, David checked America's most wanted for Granny Edwards, and sure enough there he was. Mrs. Martin knows to much. David had to "take care" of her.

LATER AGAIN!

There was a knock on Mrs. Martin's door. Mrs. Martin answered it, but nobody was there. Unknown to anyone David somehow sneak in. After a small audience scare, using a cat. David appeared and grabbed Mrs. Martin and tossed her towards the open door to the basement. Mrs. Martin catched herself. David walked up to her. He looked at her for a second. Then randomly screamed the famish quote "THIS IS SPARTA!" The kicked her she literary flew over the stairs and cracked her head open at a wall at the bottom. She was dead. David closed the door and walked away, quietly laughing to himself.

**DAVID: Why does have to be a 300 hundred quote!**

**ME: I don't know, I seemed suitable. **

**DAVID: I guess**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

THE NEXT DAY, AT DINNER!

Earlier that day David met Kelly, Michael's girlfriend. "Be careful, people may get the wrong idea about you two" he said. "What do think people think about you moving in with my mother" Michael snapped. David violently grabbed his shirt. "WHAT DID YOU SAAY!" He screamed. But then suddenly calmed down, and remained that way. "By the way Michael, you know how you wanted that job, well the manager and I had a little chat, and he agreed to put you" David said. "What kind of chat?" Michael asked.

FLASHBACK!

_David pointing a fully loaded Desert eagle at the manager. "YOU WANT A BULLITE IN YOU!" He screamed angrily. "NOO!" The manager screamed. "GIVE HIM THE F***IN JOB!" David screamed. "Alright" the manager said. _

END FLASHBACK!

"A nice chat" David said. Suddenly David stared seeing them as his old family, and was getting overly anxious, but soon snapped out of it as. 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The next morning, Michael woke up to sirens next doo r. The family asked David what's going on. "You know the old lady next, she fell down the stairs and broke her neck" David told them. "Ou that poor women" Susan said hold up hands over her mouth.

LATER!

Michael was becoming specious of David. He told his girlfriend Kelly, but she wasn't buying it. "Look what he's doing know" Michael said pointing to the distance. Shows David chasing a chipmunk with a spiked baseball bat. The chipmunk ran up a tree. "YA! THAT'S RIGHT RUN! YOU COWARDLY PIECE OF RAT SHIT!" David screamed at it. "What's wrong mister Harris?" Kelly asked. "Just mind your own damn business" David snapped. Kelly was about say something when David screamed, "SILENC! I'll KILL YOU!"

LATER AGAIN!

David took Michael to dinner, at a restaurant. David told Michael about his daughters. But Michael got worried again as David seemed to miss say his daughters names.

Michael told Kelly, but she STILL wasn't convinced. "He's hiding something" Michael said. "Doesn't mean he's a killer" Kelly said.

**YES, I'M SORRY IT'S A LITTLE SHORT!**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Susan's youngest son Shaun was playing video games super loudly. Susan kept saying tune it down, but he wasn't lessoning. Finally David grabbed the back of his neck. "MAMA SAID! TUNE IT DOWN!" David cried violently. He turned down the volume and walked away. Leaving Shaun staring at him with fear in his eyes.

David approached downstairs and saw Michael and Kelly making out in the pool. "Are you sure it's a good idea, for them to be so passionate at their age?" David asked.

Susan's ex husband arrived today. He Shaun and Susan's daughter for the day, Susan was also gone for the day. Michael and Kelly began kissing in the pool again. It was interrupted when they saw David.

**MICHAEL: THAT'S IT!**

**ME: What part of no lemons don't you understand?**

**MICHAEL: I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE TURNED TO YOUR FRIEND 'Decothelonewolf'! He is amazing at lemons. **

**ME: His lemon between Humphrey and Lilly, is basically the same as 'YamiMarik1994' dose in TOWARDS NORTH WITH BLOOD!**

**MICHAEL: Ya but still**

David said he was leaving them alone for a bit. "You two play nice now" He said, then left. As soon as he did Michael began searching through his stuff for evidence that he is bad. Before was able to finish David returned. And Michael and Kelly had to run back towards the pool.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

David and Michael were glaring at each other all through dinner. Suddenly the doorbell rang, Shaun and his sister came out with their old dad. He was super angrily. And violently pointed at David. "IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ONE OF MY KIDS AGAIN! IT'LL BE THE LAST F***IN THING YOU EVER DO!" The dad screamed angrily. "What the hell are you talking about?" Susan asked. "THIS MAN TRIED TO CHUCK SHAUN OVER THE STUPID VIDEOGAME VOLUME!" He cried angrily. "Susan told him to tune it down, and he didn't" David said. The other dad lost it and started getting violent, but Michael pulled him away and took him outside.

The dad quickly calmed down, and he and Michael agreed to keep an eye on David.

David apologized to Shaun, when they were alone, Susan began getting angry with him, but David promised not to do it again.

**ME: Sorry it sucks, EI lone wolf wants WOLVES THAT CAN RAP 2, so I'll most likely be a while**


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

**I'M BACK!**

**SORRY I'VE BEEN SO LONG, I WAS QUITE BUSY!**

Susan's ex husband came over today. Where he was greeted by David. He apologized to David for his impression last time. "It's alright" David assured him.

A BIT LATER!

David disappeared into another room. "You know Michael want's me to keep an eye on you, and to be honest, I'd like some answers" The ex dad said. "Do you hear me?" The ex dad cried. "Yep" David said suddenly appearing behind him. Before the guy realized what happened David broke a glass vase on his head, knocking him unconscious.

David threw him into the basement. And suffocated him in folding paper. "Damn, I forgot to tell you how crazy I am" David said to the motionless body. "Do want to catch a movie?" David asked the body. The body remains motionless. "HEY (kicks body) ANSWER GOD DAMMIT... Ou right" David said.

David threw the body into the fridge. "I need some cold meat". David opens the fridge, but freaked out because he forgot about the body he threw in a couple seconds ago.

LATER THAT DAY!

"Hey honey, I accidently broke your vase" David lied, holding up the vase pieces. Susan laughed. "Don't worry… IS THAT BLOOD STAINS!" Susan cried. "No it's… ketchup, I… dropped a heavy, amount, of ketchup… Ya that's it, liquids are heavier then you think, think of water buckets for example, their like one thousand pounds" David said. "Ok" Susan said, obviously buying it.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

**WELL I'M ALMOST DONE, THIS CHAPTER IS THE DEATH OD SUSAN'S SISTER, STRAIT UP KELLY'S CAPTURE! IT'S THE SECOND TIME, DAVID ACTS A BIT MORE SERIOUS**

ALMOST A WEEK LATER!

David sat on the computer and saw the email, which read.

_Hey sweetie,_

_I need to talk to you about David. I think he's lying, about EVERYTHING! I'm sending someone to keep an eye on him. As for me, I need to catch a plane._

David's eye twitched. He picked up his phone. "Yes, I'll like to make a call about canceling a flight" David said into it.

LATER!

David came up to Susan's sister at the pool. And violently started drowning her, by throwing her head in the water. Once she was dead, David threw the rest of her body in the pool.

LATER AGAIN!

Michael wanted answers once and for all. So he sneaked into the basement. He eventually stumbled on the body of his ex dad, locked in the fridge.

David kidnapped Kelly, and locked Michael in basement, so Michael couldn't do anything

**WELL NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE FINAL, USING THOSE CHAPTERS ARE 1000 WORDS, THIS TIME IT MAY EVEN BE LONGER, CONSIDERING IT ENDS WITH THE LYRICS TO THE ENDING THEME (HAPPY TOGETHER, BY FILTER)**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

David was losing at this point, he was taking a bunch of knives and hammers, getting ready to kill. Susan came down. "What's with all the noise?" She said tiredly. "THE BOY IS THE PROBLEM! HE HAS NO RESPECT!" David cried. David picks a pencil. "YOU GOTTA BREAK HIM IF NESSASSARY!" David cried and tried to snap the pencil, but failed in doing so, he threw it away in anger. "Anyway… You can't do that you're too soft" David told her. "What the hell are you talking about?" Susan asked. "I thought I could make this work, I thought you could be Mrs. Granny Edwards, BUT NO!" David cried and slammed his fist on the table but suddenly started screaming in pain. "What did you say?" Susan asked. "No that's not right, who am I here?" David asked. "David, what are you" Susan started. "DAVID! David Harris" David said and then began making a mussed up psychopathic laugh. Susan screamed in fear and ran upstairs, David chased her with a knife.

David cornered her in a bathroom. Susan picked up a piece of glass. And as David was about to stab his knife into her, she put the glass in his neck. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!" David cried before falling down.

Susan met Michael and Kelly downstairs. But David has appeared to have waken up and chased them into the attic.

INSIDE THE ATTIC!

"DADDIES HOME!" David cried. He took out a chainsaw and again started making that that messed up psychopathic laugh. Unfortunately for him he stepped on a skateboard and fell down the edge.

A FEW DAYS LATER!

David met a new family and introduced himself as Chris Ames.

**THE END! **

**CHAPTER WAS WAY SHORTER THEN I WAS HOPING, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY, PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS!**

**Here's the song I promised, try putting it in the spooky virson, used in the actual film...**

Imagine me and you, I do

I think about you day and night, it's only right  
>To think about the girl you love and hold her tight<br>So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime  
>And you say you belong to me and ease my mind<br>Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
>So happy together<p>

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
>For all my life<br>When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
>For all my life<p>

Me and you and you and me  
>No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be<br>The only one for me is you, and you for me  
>So happy together<p>

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
>For all my life<br>When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
>For all my life<p>

Me and you and you and me  
>No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be<br>The only one for me is you, and you for me  
>So happy together<p>

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba  
>Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba<p>

Me and you and you and me  
>No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be<br>The only one for me is you, and you for me  
>So happy together<p>

So happy together  
>How is the weather<br>So happy together  
>We're happy together<br>So happy together  
>Happy together<br>So happy together  
>So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)<p> 


End file.
